I haven’t been writing much and certainly haven’t been posting on my blog. My Writing for Healing workshop was a dream of mine from two years ago – inspired by Natalie Goldberg’s book ‘Writing down the bones’ where she talked about how much she learnt about herself as a writer – by teaching. It intrigued me, but I only plucked up the courage to apply to the library in June 2024. My bravery was rewarded as I got the gig and two more speaking events in the coming months.

But just as it felt like things were starting to take off for me, I got hit by a terrible bout of imposter syndrome. It made me freeze and stop writing and this absence of journaling, not wanting to write, was a sign for me that something wasn’t right.

So what is imposter syndrome?

Imposter syndrome is when you doubt your own skills and feel you’re not as talented or worthy as others believe, and you’re scared that one day, people will figure it out. Feelings of imposter syndrome can drain your emotional and physical energy and can produce feelings of anxiety, knock your self confidence, and can impact overall wellbeing and your ability to take positive action.

Imposter syndrome manifested for me in behaviors such as not wanting to write, and an inability to prepare for the workshop. I just wanted to sleep and every morning when I awoke, I was filled with feelings of dread with negative thoughts of ‘oh no, what have I done? What if no one comes to the workshop? What if they do come and I don’t know what to talk about?‘

It surprised me that imposter syndrome showed up during a time of success, but journaling helped me process and challenge negative thoughts and feelings and helped me to regain control. I was able to overcome it by listening to my body, not pushing myself too hard and doing a lot of meditation, and when I was ready, I picked up my pen and I started to journal to find out what was behind these thoughts and feelings.

Some of the questions I wrote about:

• What recent accomplishments am I proud of? And what specific skills and efforts contributed to these achievements?
• What negative thoughts do I frequently have about my abilities and success? What evidence to I have that contradicts these negative thoughts?
• How can I reframe these thoughts in a more positive and realistic way?
• How have I grown and developed as a writer in the past year?
• What challenges did I overcome and what did I learn?
• What steps can I take to continue growing and succeeding as a writer?
• What actions can I take to help me achieve my goals and combat imposter syndrome?
• How can I be kinder and more understanding toward myself in moments of self doubt?

By using these prompts I was able to gain clarity, build confidence and reaffirm my worthiness of success. Once I could do that, my actions became aligned with my desired outcome – to have a fun, successful workshop.

The workshop is now sold out and while I might be nervous on the day (which is normal because it is new and is important to me) I know I can rise to the challenge and learn something new about myself. The feelings of fear and dread have been replaced with excitement and anticipation and I am looking forward to the workshop on the 19th October and meeting whoever shows up on the day.